Written by me as an accessory to my David Letterman costume:
- Blood is everywhere - and it's spraying out of a bite wound in your neck
- When you buy your ticket, the salesman asks, "Are you sure?"
- The guy sitting next to you is dressed up as Regis
- Bouncer demands proof that your flu shots are up to date
- Party games include such classics as "bobbing for assholes"
- Best costume award goes to wolfman wearing a slutty nurse outfit
- Your friends would rather stay home and discuss Balloon Boy on Twitter
- Bloody Mary you ordered comes with real blood
- Your bus captain pulls the bus over so he can change his Depends
- Some guy gets up and starts reciting a lame top ten list
(As an aside, I'd like to point out that I wrote this before Friday's Late Show. The topic of that show's top ten list? "Top Ten Signs You're At A Lame Halloween Party." There's even mention of Regis, bobbing for apples, H1N1 flu, Balloon Boy, blood, and "best costume." I've been watching way too much late night TV.)
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