Saturday, February 03, 2007


Aaron's Guide to C-Train Undesirables

I've been riding the C-Train nearly every day for the past year and a half. Over that period of time I have experienced all kinds of service disruptions. Furthermore, I have seen all kinds of passengers. Of course, most passengers remain anonymous, merely content to reach their intended destinations. On the other hand, we also have the undesirables:

Seat Hogs

You know them when you see them - mainly because they're taking up three quarters of your seat, leaving you with enough room to rest the outer half of one of your butt cheeks. The worst offenders will also be taking up enough foot room to cause problems for the other seat, if you're in one of the older U2 trains with the seats that face one another.


When the train is packed and docked at a station, it is sometimes necessary for people to temporarily step off the train in order to allow for passage of passengers who are deeper inside the vehicle. Inevitably the Dockblocker will refuse to move, blocking disembarking passengers inside and frustrating the passengers who got off to make room.

Queue Jumpers

Corollary to the Dockblocker: People who stepped onto the platform to make room for disembarking passengers are shoved aside by people who cut in front of them to get on the train. Queue Jumpers often take the form of fifteen year old girls who are hot off a Chinook Centre shopping spree - Chinook station is the most likely location where Queue Jumpers lurk.


Also found in the more ferocious variety, the Space Hogging Nosepicker, these individuals exhibit rather disgusting public behaviour. Whether it's picking ones nose (and flicking the fruits at fellow passengers) or what smells like a bad case of diarrhea, these passengers make our transit trips seem several orders of magnitude longer than they actually are.


Consider this scenerio: it's evening rush hour and the train passengers are packed in so tight that a handhold isn't necessary. Suddenly some dork decides to shout, "Hey, everybody who feels like a sardine, put up your hand!" They're not funny and their loud Captain Obvious statements make a frustrating trip even worse. Dockblocking Comedians are the more annoying breed.

Bay Bloaters (Type I and Type II)

A close cousin of the Dockblocker, the Type I Bay Bloater is an individual who, despite the fact that the aisles are clear of passengers, insists on standing in the door bay area. By doing so the Type I Bay Bloater blocks access to the aisle, making futile any attempts to flee the bay for the aisle. They often cause problems with passenger disembarking as well.

The Type II Bay Bloater is the guy who shows up on the train platform and despite the fact that the train is bursting at the seams, insists that there is still enough room for him to squeeze on. This individual can often be seen carrying a large duffel bag or backpack which they usually place in front of the electric eye that allows the doors to close. An enemy of passengers on a schedule and train operators alike, the Type II Bay Bloater is a very common cause of delays due to doors that can't close.

Edgy Excusers

Passengers who have stood on a C-Train during rush hour will recognize the Edgy Excuser. These people want off the train so bad that they will push and shove anybody standing in their way. If it's just a bunch of Dockblockers we really don't care, but often times the Edgy Excuser will shove aside people who are preparing to get off at the exact same stop as she is.


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